The tree

I encountered my dad in the shape of tree December 2003

snowflakes thickend my vision likes cocaine raining from heaven

leaning over the pavement nature inflicted it´s agony

The feeling of weight

whit no proper shape

to high ambitions

can put some in coffins

his unselfish deeds

are in need of nourishing needs

like my lungs in symbioses with its functions

like my heart in symbioses with his careness

overloaded with natural causes

searching for possible rescues

misplaced due to weakness

it had thin branches

taller trees stood around unaffected

but this one was the one I respected

I stood mesmerized by the resembles

thinking about my father backproblems

physical metaphor of something I’ve seen before, what could it be

to limited paper to figure out the memory related

powerless to circumstances similar to imagines I had in my memory

you’re unsolved riddle in my hometown

you hustled them on random jetsam

that’s why he hasn’t got official professions

but sometimes you turn joy to afflictions

nosy neighbors making up theories

of how you pull your business

the greatest provider I’ve ever known

the cash he makes he sees little as his own

the situation I observed so often,

claiming every camel’s back is broken

weird sense from trivial scenery

parts of you are still a mystery

tough love or helping hand is the same

showing me the art in how to remain

standing before me personified,

this tree is a piece of you magnified

like sons fathers need attention to so I shook the tree loose from the burden of snow

held it a brief second to exam its’ skinny figure and then released

it rose in an instant and I continued to walk to where ever I planned to go.

written 2004

And I apologize, pt 2

I don’t know how this story will end, from whatever conjuring dispute rose

Friendship is a delicate relation, you never proclaimed anything

Was it more shit on your chest then appeared to your surrounding

Obvious bad self-esteem and yet some books are harder to open then to close

Malice was never my true intention

I remind optimistic and relied on you, still I got surprised every time you’re disappointing

You couldn’t grasp the big world mainly why it got out of hand, Let you off with a warning

You got to accept the justified tantrum

I still consider you as a friend to me.

Defaulted

Now it’s my obligation to ask for apology

Resulted

(2:robin, cancerface 2005)

And I apologize, pt 1

Hence the expression kill my darling, the elusive promises

I kept her happy to my own advantage, words well spent

Overlooked the impact and then I just lost judgment

The player never changes only the game, the dogma is useless

I had home-field advantage, a pawn to my likening

Smart she was her love should be diverted to appreciation

And 4 years from thorough thinking has breached my reason

I discovered the impossible, her void left a marking

To my personal posterity

Defaulted

It’s my obligation to ask for apology

Resulted?

(2:Ellie by Cancerface 2005)